I went back into work yesterday- I was quite anxious about going in, seeing colleagues for the first time since late November when Isaac was still alive and then the whole thing about teaching teenagers and dealing with life in a secondary school and whether I'd be ok with all of that. Grief is a terrible thing and I suppose there's no right or wrong way to do it. I've got a planned return to work in place and we'll see how it goes.
We were up at the grave on Thursday, tidying it up, removing flowers which were going brown and putting Christmas ornaments friends and family had left for Isaac in a box to bring home. We bought a plastic box and filled it with some plants and flowers to sit at the top of his grave while we get a headstone sorted. All of this felt quite good although walking away from his grave still feels hard. Isaac is in a new field. The old cemetery was full so he's up in the corner with a few other people, which over time will also fill up. Since we'd last been there was a new grave dug out next to him on the left and another marked out to be dug on his right. It goes on doesn't it, life and death. On a nice day the view from his grave is good (as you can see in the photo above), green fields and blue skies with some industrial infrastructure in there too, pylons marching across the grass. When it's clear you can see over the fields towards Carrington, the towers of the power station blinking and puffing steam out in the middle distance, and beyond that all the way to Winter Hill near Bolton.
Here's a blast of uptempo pop from 1987 for Saturday. Scarlet Fantastic were a duo of Maggie K. De Monde and Rick P. Jones (both previously been in Swans Way). No Memory is four minutes of exuberant, catchy as you like pop perfection with a strange key change into the chorus which sticks long in the memory. It's a song made for the 7" single. My copy is a little the worse for wear, slightly scuffed surface with a sleeve that has seen better days but it's none the worse for it. The tune shines through.
'We have no memory tonight/ We have the sun in our hair/ The moon in our eyes/ We just don't give a damn cos we're free'. There's today's earworm for you.
The 12" came with extended mixes. The pick of the two was this one, eight minutes long with pulsing bassline, isolated guitar solos, crunchy drum machine beats, everything dragged out for extra pleasure.
For the full mid- to- late 80s experience here they are doing No Memory on Top Of The Pops, October '87, thirty five years ago.
A moving post, Adam, but actually I could make that comment about everything you write. You mentioned previously that there's a first for all things, following Isaac's passing, and going back to work must have been a big one. I'm lucky that my current job has some really great, supportive colleagues (not always the case in the past) and I hope you have the same, people who are there when you need them and not walking on eggshells, unsure how to do or say the 'right' thing. I am continually in wonder at the eloquence, insight and humanity that you share here on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteThe music is, of course, fantastic too. I loved No Memory when it first came out (and Soul Train by Swans Way, whilst we're at it) but didn't buy the single for some reason until it was reissued in the early 1990s. Unusally, there were no new remixes from in vogue DJs just the originals. I remember hearing the Extra Sensory Mix being played out and sitting very well with more contemporary club mixes. It's my pick of the bunch, too.
I've never heard that but it sounds like a million songs I danced to at all-ages nightclubs. Absolutely delightful. The uh-uh-uh though, who ripped that off? It's gonna drive me crazy. I feel like it's the Soup Dragons or someone but I can't quite place it.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a JAMC lift, to my ears
DeleteNot a bad view at all.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well on your return to work, SA.
Not heard that Scarlet Fantastic song in years... possibly not since the 80s!
Strangely (and aptly) I have no memory of this. Reminds me a little of later Siouxsie at times in the vocal inflexions - and the thigh boots - with a tiny sprinkle of Magenta Devine...
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best for your return to work. I can imagine it must be so daunting, but yes as in Khayem's comment above, it's another one of those 'firsts' that you need to go through. As you say, no right or wrong way to grieve, you just have to feel your way through it and with the support and love of those around you.
Wishing you all the best for your return to work SA.
ReplyDeleteThanks all. Your comments show why blogging is such an enjoyable endeavour.
ReplyDelete