Isaac's headstone was fixed in place at the cemetery yesterday. It's been a long road to get to this point. For a long time we couldn't do it. There's a finality about a headstone we just couldn't face- it'll be there long after we've all gone and it had to be right. We had a planter and two flower pots which have done the job for the last two and a half years, the various plants, shrubs and flowers changing with the seasons, different colours coming and going, and for a long time they were enough. The sunflowers became part of it too, bought from the supermarket down the road and bringing a big splash of sunshine every summer. A year ago we got to a point where we felt we needed to get him a headstone. It's taken a year since then to get it as we wanted it. We wanted a natural stone- at first we wanted slate but it was prohibitively expensive and very difficult to get hold of, so we went for grey sandstone instead. Ordering the stone, getting the wording right, getting everything as it should be, has taken a year but it's been worth the wait, to get it right, for us and for him. Mainly now, it feels like a relief, that it's done and in place and that it looks so good and so right- and maybe it feels like the end of something too, or at least the end of a part of this whole thing.
The inscription at the bottom comes from the Covid memorial in London, written on the wall by a friend in the days that followed Isaac's death, 30th November 2021. It has felt for a long time now that that these were to be the words for his headstone.
Isaac's middle name Neville was the name of my maternal grandfather. He died the year before Isaac was born and it seemed right to pass the name on. In one of those coincidences that could never be planned, one of my younger brothers has become a father this week for the first time. His son is four days old today and has also been given the middle name Neville, passing it on again, which is lovely and very moving.
For those are are interested in the details, this is demo version of the song, recorded by Bob Dylan in June 1973 while visiting his publishers in New York. The song then appeared on Planet Waves in two versions, one slow paced and like a lullaby and the other faster and rockier. Dylan became a parent for the first time in 1966 and wrote it while in Tucson, presumably early in 1973. According to the liner notes of Biograph, he wrote it, 'thinking about one of [my] boys and not wanting to be too sentimental... I certainly didn't intend to write it... the song wrote itself'. The demo version is my favourite and I've been waiting for an occasion to post it.
'May your heart always be joyful/ May your song always be sung/ And may you stay forever young'
12 comments:
Perfect.
'Loved by everyone' indeed: I, for myself, haven't read a single post and/or seen a single picture about/of Isaac in the past decade (probably even longer, thinking of it) which didn't put a big smile on my face!
I do hope finally having put up the headstone will really help you three, in what form whatever ...
Your pal,
Dirk
The Dylan lyrics are perfect but that's an absolutely beautiful headstone Adam. It looks like you've struck a perfect balance of it not only looking impressive but also tasteful, not an easy thing to achieve. The Sunflowers are a lovely touch as well.
Very nicely done. The stone itself is simple and dignified and the message just right, and the sunflowers bring the light and colour. What's the significance of the little man with the wheelie bin?
What Alistair said.
Ernie: Isaac had many things he was slightly fixated on, busses, trains and the binmen were 3 of them. His knowledge of the bin calendar, what colour bin on which week etc and in other people's bin days was legendary among our friends. As a thank you to 3 of our friends for contributing to his funeral we bought them a PlayMobil binman with wheelie bin and we bought one for him which has lived at his grave since early 2022. We thought the binman and wheelie bin should stay when the headstone went in yesterday.
❤️ Beautiful Adam xx
Beautiful words Adam, often the headstone is a bit of a burden. You know it's the final part of your initial grief, but it seems too big and everlasting to rush on in. Often it is years before some people feel ready to do it. It looks beautiful, I hope it brings you all some peace in the years to come
Very moving, SA, it's perfect. I love the explanation behind the little binman too, a special touch of such personalised sweetness.
A wonderful tribute, Adam. Thinking of you all today.
Thank you everyone- it's been a long one and it feels like we got it right. Now I feel like I need to see it in different lights and especially in the sunshine.
This brought tears to my eyes Adam. Thank you for sharing the photo and your very moving words.
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